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THE WILD

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Sam: I failed. Again.

Nigel: I only count one failure. It’s big, but it’s just one.

Larry: Goodbye, Ryan. We’re gonna miss ya.

Bridget: Samson!

Nigel: What on earth is going on?

Bridget: It’s a human, and I do not think he works for the zoo.

Nigel: Perhaps now is a good time to «improvise.»

Sam: What?

Nigel: Great! One problem down…

Larry: Far out. Cool.

Nigel: One disaster to go.

Sam: Larry, what are you doing? We’re headed for the other boat!

Bridget: How do we steer’? Who knows how to steer’? None of us. We’re animals. Great!

Sam: Hold on, Larry. Do that again.

Larry: Do what?

Sam: Whatever you just did, but the opposite!

Larry: But I don’t know my opposites!

Sam: No, Larry, like this! Hey, I think I’ve got it.

Nigel: Well, that was easy. [chuckles] Oh, dear. Has anyone got any eucalyptus wipes’?

Sam: This isn’t so difficult. I’m the lion of the sea!

Nigel: Well done, sir. Captain of our team and now captain of this vessel. You’re brilliant.

Bridget: Um, I hate to be Miss Negative, but in this melee, we seem to have lost Ryan’s boat.

Nigel: What, nothing?

Bridget: Nothing. He’s gone.

Sam: Benny, you made it!

Benny: Oh. You’re my best friend. Best friends should stick together. Even not-so-best friends, who knock you off a speeding garbage truck.

Nigel: Excuse me, but I begged them to go back and get you. Just so you know.

Sam: Benny, could you see Ryan’s boat from up there?

Benny: Well, it just so happens I saw it heading that way. And we’re in luck!

Nelson: How’s it goin’, eh?

Benny: Canadian geese! Experts at intercontinental travel.

Nigel: Hey, birdie, OK, is it true that Canada has lax immigration policies for koalas?

Sam: I’ll take it from here, Nige. My son’s out there. We really need your help. Can you lead us to that boat?

Nelson: No problem, eh? Just follow us, and Bob’s your uncle. Try not to lag too far behind, eh?

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Ryan! I can’t believe it! I was so close. He was right there! We’ll never find him! You know how big…

Benny: Will you get a hold of yourself’?! Use your instincts.

Nigel: I don’t want to run anymore.

Bridget: Good. Quite frankly, you need a good sports bra.

Sam: [sniffs] Ryan?

Benny: Don’t worry. Everything’s under control. Temporary setback. We lost him, but…

Sam: [sniffs] I got it. I got Ryan’s scent!

***

Sam: Hey, where’s my son? Did he come through here’?

Hyrax: Yeah, now that I think about it, he did come through here. Hello? Come on out, baby lion! Your dad’s here! Well, what do you know? There’s a whole pride of lions down here!

Bridget: Oof! Eww, whew! Funky. I was under the impression you had Ryan’s scent, not this olfactory insult.

Sam: I, uh… I, uh… I… I had Ryan’s scent. But my predator instinct must’ve kicked in since, you know, I haven’t eaten for a while.

Benny: Exactly! You never know when those predator instincts are gonna kick in.

Nigel: Excellent. Fantastic! We get to see the legend in action.

Sam: I’d love to, but we just don’t have time.

Nigel: Ho-ho! We got the time. Sammy. Just… And then you do this. And then this bit. Hoo-hah! Rip him apart! [laughing] The horror.

Bridget: Ohh, I can’t bear to watch! But I have to.

***

Hyrax: What’s wrong’? I’m not good enough for you to eat or something’?

Sam: No. It’s just I’m allergic to nuts.

Hyrax: Oh, now I get it. You’re gonna toy with me? Beat me up a little, then pounce just when I get my hopes up’? Oh, how exciting.

Sam: Come on, guys. Ryan can’t be far.

Hyrax: Hey! I’m not finished with you! I am a delicacy. My flesh has fruity wood notes!

Larry: Watch it, little hors cf oeuvre. That’s Samson the Wild you’re talkin’ to.

Hyrax: You call this wild? This is a cat! A big, fat, tame pussycat!

Sam: OK, that’s enough!

Hyrax: Ooh! The pussycat hissed at me! Maybe I should hide behind the koala for protection. While we’re at it, could you slap me in the face a few times’?

Nigel: No. What are you, a twit?

Sam: Ignore him, Nigel.

Hyrax: Don’t bother! I’m leaving.

Nigel: You’re weird.

Hryax: Run for your lives, everyone! It’s a lion with moral issues! And I’ve had it with you too! Thanks a lot for wrecking my day!

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